


Starlight

by clockworkindy



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Rei/Nagisa Mook, android nagisa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 20:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3743200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockworkindy/pseuds/clockworkindy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He promises him he'll take him to the stars one day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starlight

Nagisa Hazuki is a star that has a million years left to burn. But Ryuugazaki Rei has no brilliance, long ago decided he must be dead from the beginning.

(Ryuugazaki Rei never had his chance to shine.)

  
He sees how Nagisa fights, how he strives and powers on. He sees him falter. He sees him dust his clothes off and charge again. And again. And again.

  
And no-one else could make him do these things, make him lose his integrity, break him down but _him_.

  
Rei is a moth and he's drawn.

  
The star will swallow him whole but he can't resist.

 

\---

 

They begin to meet up for coffee, it starts out about work but evolves into friendship.

  
Nagisa might be fit and healthy but he has a massive appetite and a love for sweets. He mentions offhandedly he'd love a birthday that has someone jump out of a cake just for him.

  
Rei tells him personal things. Studying, growing up, his friends and family and the stories of his past, even the embarrassing things.

  
Nagisa laughs but it isn't cruel. He's happy to share, happy to be alive. Happy to be a part of Rei's life.

 

\---

 

Three years pass, Nagisa and Rei call each-other best friends.

  
Rei can't lie, can't say he's not jealous of Nagisa's potential, but he can't let such brilliance go to waste.

  
He takes the young aspiring astronaut under his wing and teaches him everything, lets him worm his way into his heart.

  
He helps him study, helps him train and adjusts his menu.

  
He promises him he'll take him to the stars one day.

 

\---

 

Rei wakes up from his nap, confused and disorientated. Dark, dark all around him.

  
But he looks at his phone telling him that it's Nagisa's birthday and he's overslept for his surprise.

  
He leaps out, hoping to find someone, anyone there (And he thinks failure two years in a row is unacceptable).

  
Nagisa is alone, fast asleep.

  
Rei wipes frosting off his sleeve and shakes Nagisa awake. He seems annoyed at first but then his eyes light up.

  
"You came." He said with the warmest smile, and Rei's heart melts and he ignores the fact he's being completely illogical.

  
"I was here the whole time." He motions towards the now destroyed cake. Nagisa snorts and laughs. He swipes his finger along his arm and takes a share of frosting and puts it in his mouth. Rei tries to act disgusted but he can't help but laugh at how ridiculous Nagisa makes him.

  
They sit and eat cake and talk about their day's adventures.

 

\---

 

Ryuugazaki Rei loves Nagisa, more than anything. More than anything else in the whole world, the whole universe.

  
This is the first time he thinks it and it doesn't scare him one bit.

 

\---

 

"Ma'am you must be mistaken; Hazuki is much more viable for-" He speaks against his superior but is quickly silenced.

  
"Ryuugazaki, your test results prove you as the perfect candidate. As much as we would love to send Hazuki, he still has much to learn before he's ready for a mission like this. He's not yet mentally prepared."

  
He feels guilty, feels like he's stolen Nagisa's dream from him.

  
He's been the cheerleader this whole time, he doesn't deserve this like Nagisa does.

  
She finalizes Rei's launch date. Telling Nagisa makes him feel even worse.

  
"I can't say I'm not jealous but I know I'm not ready yet. Bring me back some pretty space rocks, okay?" Nagisa pleads with a smile.

  
Rei promises.

 

\---

 

Rei loses communication with Earth several days before he crashes.

  
He's happy though, he's glad it's him and not that brilliant star. He feels happy he doesn't have to deal with anything like survivor's guilt.

  
Dead stars have no shine to them.

 

\---

 

Rei sends a message via radio.

  
He sends it out to Nagisa alone.

  
He talks about how he's felt about him, how he wishes he could be home soon.

  
He tells him he'll be back and he tells him he loves him.

  
He ends the transmission to Earth and hopes that it doesn't reach him.

 

\---

 

Rei spends a week alone. The rest of the crew is dead. He buried them in what he refers to as the Blue Zone.

  
He considers walking out into the cold without a space suit. He corrects his thoughts and puts it all down to loneliness and cabin fever.

  
He picks up an android's shell and starts working. He considers who he should model it after and it doesn't take long to decide.

  
He implants Nagisa's memories, his memories. He implants a few of the crew's and Rei's memories too because he wants him to think he was here the whole time and he wants him to be real.

  
(He omits the death. He omits his own feelings. Nagisa deserves only the purest.)

  
He, the android, wakes up and smiles that warm smile he keeps just for him.

  
He's alone on a planet with only Nagisa to keep him company and he thinks it's the most beautiful thing that could ever happen.

 

\---

 

Each day is beautiful but he feels guilty, can't ever tell him he's not the real Nagisa.

  
He can't because he's real to him, he loves him just the same.

  
He believes it more every day because it's easier to think he kept Nagisa's promise to take him to the stars.

  
They talk about progress on the spaceship, and Rei tells him day after day that he's almost done, _almost done_.

  
He gets the feeling Nagisa believes him less and less each day.

 

\---

 

There's one key component missing from the spaceship.

  
Rei knows exactly where it is.

  
But Nagisa smiles and waves to him from outside as he plays and leaps in reduced gravity. He can't even consider the possibility.

  
He tries to come up with substitutes but they all fail.

 

\---

 

Nagisa pulls out a multi-coloured rock and declares he found it in the Blue Zone. Rei's face blanches as he realises that he might have been close to finding the truth about the others' fate.

He reprimands him. Nagisa waves him off, telling him there's nothing dangerous out there but Rei knows better.

 

\---

 

"I know the truth." Nagisa says as he confronts Rei. He opens the panel on his chest.

  
He considers lying to him. Nagisa is many things but stupid is not one of them.

  
Nagisa, the android, smiles sadly.

  
"It's okay. I know you're trying to protect me."

  
Rei sighs and tells him, how he was the sole survivor. How his madness and loneliness prompted him to create him. How he's close _so close_  to finishing the spaceship's repairs. He's missing the one key component that just happens to be in his chest.

  
Nagisa smiles, moves to take the porcelain out of himself. He speaks of being alive again once Rei finds a replacement, but it cant happen. All the memories they shared, all the _real_  memories they shared on this desolate planet will be gone forever. And so he tells him but he only has Rei in mind.

  
Nagisa tells him he'll be waiting for him on Earth.

  
He bids him goodbye and rips the component out of his chest because he knows Rei will never be able to do it.

  
Rei screams his name and begs him to stop but Nagisa has and always will be selfless.

 

\---

 

Rei wakes up and it's dark so dark.

  
He wishes he were about to jump out of a birthday cake this time and find Nagisa fast asleep.

  
He wishes he could find him, lay on his shoulder and share cake and silly stories and be in each-other's company.

  
He holds Nagisa's space rock, and he knows how brilliant it is, how much the real Nagisa would love it.

  
The sun is so distant yet he's so close to home.

  
He wants to send a transmission but the radio died a long time ago.

 

\---

 

After landing on Earth and spending several days in a critical condition Rei finally sees Nagisa; the real Nagisa. The one the android sacrificed himself for.

  
He holds him and sobs, touching his skin, hair, clothes, he's realreal **real**.

  
Nagisa holds him close, crying as well. He kisses him on the forehead and tells him he got his message and he never gave up on him.

  
He waited. He waited more then a year for him. A year he knew he was alive because Rei never gives up.

  
(He never tells him he almost did on so many occasions.)

 

\---

 

Maybe Rei isn't a dead star. Maybe he's just a moon that reflects the star's brilliance.

**Author's Note:**

> sO HEY REMEMBER THE REIGISA MOOK AND HOW SAD THAT MADE EVERYONE EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A DREAM?
> 
> I DO. I WAS REMINDED ABOUT IT AND I COULDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.
> 
> I know it's old but I really wanted to write this and I hope you liked it still.


End file.
